i haven't blogged in ages but i miss it

and i'm up late when i shouldn't be

i crave creating

i want to be the renaissance man and know everything and do everything well

actually mostly pertaining to the applied arts-crafting, cooking, knitting, sewing, etc, etc

i want to create

i would so stay up and do that if i'm not a parent and i don't have work tmrw

sigh

that being said

it's time for bed

up in 5 hrs

x_x

actually what inspired me was this blog and i can't stop perusing through it

thoughts all over the place...

wow, i haven't been on here for ages and ages as i had another blog for my mommy thoughts but even that i've stopped blogging for possibly 6 months...time is going fast as i go through the busyness of motherhood...

anyway, i really should be sleeping right now cuz it's 1am and my lil one's going to be up in 6 hrs but luckily my <3 is going to do morning shift i think...

but i'm here to blog mostly about my mixed feelings about trying to find work and all the options/lack of options out there and what the effect would be on my lil one or being on our own as a family...erg, i just don't like uncertainty

i don't like how i feel the need to get a job soon otherwise my schooling would become or is stale already from 2 yrs ago...and this need may mean relocating

i'm nervous about that

i'm really nervous about that b/c i don't want to break the social support i and my lil girl has here

i'm nervous about how one decision could affect the well being of my lil baby

ahhh

if it's just me, i'm not so scared of moving anywhere

but now w/ a baby, things are so so different....

and i just realized this should be in my mommy blog but oh wells

gotta sleep